It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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