i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
