We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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