Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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