Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
