You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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