it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
