Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The power of my boobs compel you
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
