turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
