I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize