I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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