Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
