No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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