I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize