Don't make out with my wife yet
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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