The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
