Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
