those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just forgot I was standing up.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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