I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I need a beard to bite.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
