I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
