I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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