I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
