New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
