why didn't you poke me back
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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