I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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