The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
