Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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