Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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