i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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