I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
