imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
