She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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