hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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