...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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