so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
