I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
