Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
