Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
