you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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