my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
