Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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