I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
