so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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