epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The beers last night were like the tears from god
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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