Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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