WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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