He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I wish they made helmets for livers.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
