Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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