Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
