I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
