I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
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I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
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As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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