i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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