drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
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But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
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Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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