we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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