life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
