Duck Duck Cougar?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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