just come out here and I will go home with you...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
