I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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