Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
not ubering you a puppy
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
