CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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