It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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