"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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