the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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