walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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