I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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