Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
