I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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