no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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