Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
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I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
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Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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