Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
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Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
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FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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