I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
